Chapter 14.2 - 决明子 Cassia Seed
The words on the letter continued:
“I’ve already gotten used to it—holding an umbrella alone, shopping alone, smiling alone, and standing in the rain alone. So, on this rainy afternoon, I walked from the east end of the flower market to the west, and then from the west back to the east. Eventually, I got hungry, so I walked into that Hong Kong-style tea restaurant and ordered the seafood noodles you used to love. Little by little, it felt like I was eating away my memories, consuming the food in front of me.
Looking at the fading light, in the silence of the wild geese, I stood alone as the evening sun slanted. In the days without me, are you doing well?”
A sour sensation surged in his chest. He sighed softly as he recalled the last time Shen Xifan’s eyes were red from crying, asking him strange questions about “lost and found love.” That should have tipped him off that something was wrong.
Shen Xifan must have loved deeply, completely, with all her might. Like a moth to the flame, she had burned fiercely, only to turn to ashes. And now, was that person coming back to find her?
He looked at Shen Xifan’s carefree expression and felt a strange emotion rise within him. He realized that Shen Xifan wasn’t as strong as she appeared. Her smile concealed so many complex feelings, and the person who had once hurt her still seemed to occupy her heart.
He suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for her. This girl, who always gave off a warm, sunny vibe, might actually be more fragile than he had imagined. Although Shen Xifan tried to cover it up, constantly using lightheartedness and humor to mask her inner pain, she was silently bearing so much.
“You can’t still be bothered by an ex-boyfriend, can you?” He said, unintentionally, with a hint of displeasure, but more out of concern.
Shen Xifan glanced at him, a smile tugging at her lips, but there was also a touch of helplessness. “I know he’s been a bit much lately, but I just can’t let go completely.”
She paused for a moment before continuing, “But don’t worry, I’ll handle it. I don’t want to keep dragging you into it.”
He was at a loss for words, but there was an underlying feeling in his heart, an impulse that seemed to be held back. He didn’t quite understand why he was feeling this way. Shen Xifan didn’t want to burden anyone, but he couldn’t help but feel drawn to her.
“You sure can eat a lot,” he tried to change the topic, forcing a smile, “Considering how upset you are, you still eat so happily.”
Shen Xifan looked at him, her smile growing brighter. “You don’t know, that’s just how I am. I eat when I’m upset, and forget about everything else.”
He watched her smile, feeling strangely at ease, though there was still a swirl of complicated emotions within him. He suddenly thought that some things couldn’t be left for later.
In a moment of panic, he thought that the little girl should go to the emergency room first, perhaps a sedative shot would help, then transfer to neurology. She couldn’t even speak properly and was asking him what to do but couldn’t explain the reason.
“Ku Ding tea, to calm down,” he replied. To provide enough evidence, he added, “I’ve been drinking it lately too.”
Shen Xifan gasped, “He Suye, Ku Ding tea? Are you trying to lose weight?”
Frustrated and defeated, He Suye rubbed his temples, a little irritated. “Lotus leaf can also help with weight loss, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be used to dispel heat, clear up the body, and stop bleeding.”
As soon as he finished speaking, he heard Shen Xifan giggle. “Suye, lotus leaves… you really have every benefit covered.”
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