Chapter 27.1 - Ginseng 当归
The following days were just as exhausting as before—countless courses, reports, and papers pushed Shen Xifan’s emotions to the brink. She had been warned that Cornell was a university that “took away four years of sleep,” but the true taste of that suffering was something only she could understand.
The weather suddenly turned cold in January, with sharp winds howling. The once bustling campus, filled with people and noise, suddenly became eerily quiet, as if it mirrored the harsh weather. She, too, became gloomy and melancholy, as though the chill had seeped into her own heart.
In just two days, it would be the Chinese Lunar New Year, but in the small town of Ithaca, New York, there was no festive atmosphere. No red lanterns, no firecrackers, no crowds of people shopping for New Year goods, no dumplings, no tangyuan.
No family, no blessings, and no company from him—it felt like each day dragged on like a year.
The sky in Ithaca was a dull, ashy gray, heavy with the impending promise of snow, but no snowflakes ever appeared. It pressed down on her chest, suffocating. On such days, she felt truly alone and lonely.
Such a day was really only fit for a long sleep, not for sitting in a classroom, discussing dry planning proposals for a team project.
She furrowed her brows, and suddenly a voice broke into her thoughts, “Serena, what’s your take on this proposal?”
For a moment, her mind went blank. Her thoughts were pulled back to the materials in front of her. She took a deep breath, organized her thoughts, and slowly began speaking, discussing international hotel chains, culture, and management, then finishing with some insights into Chinese hotel management concepts.
The team leader thought for a moment and nodded, “That’s a good point, but it’s rare to hear you speak up. The hotel culture you mentioned was interesting. How about this: for the next discussion, you lead the group. What do you think?”
Looking at the eager eyes of her teammates, she awkwardly smiled and agreed.
There was an exam on Friday, a new course starting next week, the CareerTracks paper was still unfinished, and now she had the added responsibility of leading the next discussion. It felt like everything was piling on at once.
After the group meeting, her tired body and restless emotions were about to break her.
Back in her dorm, she made herself a cup of tea and sat by the window, staring blankly. The desk was covered with piles of reference materials, but she didn’t know where to start. She casually opened her computer, and blessings flooded her MSN and QQ inbox. Former colleagues and friends sent beautiful pictures, warm or funny New Year greetings filling the screen.
It dawned on her that tonight was New Year’s Eve.
But there were no greetings from He Suye. Maybe he was still at the lab, or maybe he wouldn’t even return home tonight. He had told her earlier that his research was at a critical stage and he might not have enough time to be with her. He asked for her understanding. Though she had felt a little disappointed then, she told him to focus on his work and not worry about her, as research was the most important.
She called home, and the sound of firecrackers blasted in her ears. Her mother, Shen, shouted, “Fanfan, your dad and I miss you so much. Your dad keeps talking about you. Your grandpa and grandma want to know when you’ll be back.”
Hearing this, her nose suddenly tingled, and she quickly replied, “I’ll be back in half a year. It’s not long.”
Shen’s mother sighed. “Forget it, let’s not talk about that. Fanfan, remember to eat dumplings tonight. You guys don’t have that, do you? Tangyuan? By the way, can you watch the Spring Festival Gala there?”
Of course, she couldn’t say that there was nothing here. Shen Xifan quickly nodded, “Yes, yes, we have it. Don’t worry, Mom, I’ll eat well! The Spring Festival Gala is available, and we can watch it live online. Please wish grandpa and grandma for me. Okay, that’s all, I’m hanging up now!”
She hung up the phone, her mind filled with images of the New Year. She remembered last year’s New Year’s Eve, when she had drunkenly said things to He Suye that she couldn’t even verify herself. At that time, her family was together, lively and joyful, so happy.
Suddenly, her roommate called out, “Serena, there’s a package for you. I forgot to tell you earlier, it’s on the kitchen table.”
Curious, she quickly stood up to fetch it. She took a close look at the address and name, only to be surprised to see that the sender’s name was He Suye’s English name.
Carefully opening the small box, she was greeted by a delicate piece of jewelry— a large black crystal surrounded by numerous small white crystals, which emitted a dazzling and eye-catching glow in the dim light.
When she took it out, she realized it was a scarf buckle, remarkably similar to the one she had broken before. She remembered the night when He Suye had comforted her, saying that he would buy another one for her.
At the time, her reply had been, “This was a gift from my grandmother, brought back from France decades ago. I don’t know if I’ll be able to find another one in all of America, so never mind.”
But here he was, finding such a similar one for her.
At the bottom of the box was his note: “Happy Lunar New Year. Take care of yourself and rest well.”
A small smile curled at the corners of her mouth, a sweet, secret joy filling her heart. She carefully put the scarf buckle back into the gift box, then picked up the delivery note. Looking at the familiar handwriting, she gently touched it, as if feeling his warmth lingering.
She hurried to the computer to leave him a message. After typing a few words, she deleted them, unable to find the right words to express her feelings. In the end, she simply wrote: “Happy New Year, the scarf buckle is beautiful, thank you, I really like it. Also, take care, don’t overwork.” She sighed and her eyes unconsciously drifted back to the beautifully packaged small box.
She bit her lip and smiled softly—just how much time had he spent searching for such a small thing?
Outside the window, the sky remained a dull, grayish hue, but the lights shining in the dark made her feel warm. The orange glow pierced through the night’s confusion, complementing the light on her desk, as if it were a distant lover looking back at her.
But the QQ avatar hadn’t moved for a long time. She had a brief moment of hope, only for it to be followed by a prolonged disappointment.
So, she buried her longing deep within, distracting herself with work and study.
