Chapter 13.1 - Peppermint 薄荷
These past few days, Shen Xifan has been busy with Li Jie's materials, and she hasn't been sleeping well. She yawns constantly at work and by the time she gets home, she's already in a daze. Walking on the road, she mindlessly trudges through the snow. The thick snow under her feet feels fun, so she stomps heavily with each step, the "creak crunch" sound giving her a sense of domineering pleasure.
Lately, she's been pondering the question, "Am I under too much pressure?"
It's just a pity for the poor, pure white snow, being trampled by her in such a way.
Ultimately, it has something to do with that fellow He Suye. She misses him, subtly and lightly, but once she starts, she can't stop, the feeling lingering and distant.
But there's a bitterness to it, not the taste of coffee, nor the lingering fragrance after bitter tea, but the flavor of traditional Chinese medicine, somewhat forced, something you have to drink to cure an illness, just like him, someone she can't help but think about.
Frustrated, she bangs her head against the bookshelf, accidentally knocking down a precarious pile of books. Shen Xifan lets out a strange cry, enjoying the cathartic sensation of the books hitting her, using it to vent her emotions.
She laughs, a big laugh, realizing she's being a bit silly, but adorably so, and she can't help but like herself for it.
She decides to sit on the floor and organize the scattered books, her eyes unable to hide her smile. They're all her university textbooks and reference books, some of which are completely blank, not even a name written in them.
The days of skipping class, sleeping during lectures, and staying up late for exams are gone. She's independent now, starting to take on responsibilities.
But those times were truly wonderful, and it's only after losing them that she knows how to cherish them. From now on, she'll only have endless years to reminisce about those fleeting times.
But her hand suddenly hesitates when she sees a photo and a few letters mixed in with the pile of books. After a moment's hesitation, she picks them up, the light papers feeling as heavy as a thousand pounds to her.
Because it's painful, it's exceptionally heavy, not a weight on her hands, but a burden on her heart.
In the photo, she looks genuinely happy, her eyes filled with deep sweetness, her arm linked with Yan Heng, who isn't looking at the camera but adoringly at her. At that time, everyone thought they were a match made in heaven.
When in love, every girl is an angel, blessed by the gods, always happy and beautiful.
But now, she turns to face the glass cabinet door, forcing out what she thinks is a bright smile. The reflection in the glass shows her eyes devoid of their sparkle, her smile strained, a stark contrast to the photo, becoming a sort of ironic mockery.
It really is ironic, she thinks, to run into her first love after three years, with some indescribable entanglement still lingering.
She casually tosses the photo and letters back into the cabinet and sits in front of the computer to continue translating materials. Unnoticed, the letters quietly fall to the ground.
"Every day, I suddenly find myself with a lot of extra time, so I look around, I idle about.
Do you know? Every day when I pass the mailbox on the street near the school, I have this impulse to write down all our past days and then stuff them all into this mailbox, with each envelope addressed to a common place called love.
The mailbox doesn't speak, but it knows I love you, even if you don't love me anymore and have left me, I still want to cling to the past in this way."
"On the highway, clusters of clouds are drawn by the sunlight, the pale blue sky, the moon and the sun shining simultaneously, like your face the second time I saw you, instantly blinding my heart and my eyes, from then on I didn't care about anything else, as long as I could be with you, even if the sky fell and the earth cracked, so what?
I seem to have always forgotten to ask you, what did you feel when you first saw me?
I didn't ask, so you didn't tell, now there's no chance, I feel so regretful."
"Time passes so quickly, the cherry blossoms scatter, the roses bloom, the gardenias take their final bow, the lotus buds open, and in the blink of an eye, our lives have moved on at this unpredictable pace, walking far away.
Actually, to this day, I don't regret having loved you, it's just that we're all adults now, we have to learn to accept some helpless things, we have to understand that two people who were once in love might not make it to the end for some reasons."
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