Chapter 13.3 - Peppermint 薄荷
At that moment, she sang in the heavy snow, “Sometimes, sometimes, I believe everything has an end, meeting and parting, all have their times. Nothing is eternal, but I, sometimes, would rather choose to hold on and not let go…”
He Suye smiled gently at her and then told her, “Red beans are neutral in nature, sweet and sour in taste. They clear heat, detoxify, strengthen the spleen, stop diarrhea, promote urination, and reduce swelling. Red beans, when paired with forsythia and angelica, can treat liver abscesses. Red beans combined with dandelion and licorice can treat abdominal pain.”
She laughed at him for his professional habits, being so pedantic and old-fashioned, and he teased her for acting mature. In the end, even he forgot to hold the umbrella, getting soaked with snow along with her.
Is love like snow, too? It becomes tarnished, no longer as pure as it once was.
After walking for a long while, she felt tired and considered taking the bus back. But when she rummaged through her bag, she realized she had forgotten her wallet.
She sighed helplessly. Not wanting to call home and risk getting scolded, she reluctantly began dialing from the phonebook, stopping for a moment when she reached He Suye’s number, but then resolutely dialing anyway.
“He Suye, could I not have Li Jie treat me to dinner?”
Perhaps he wasn’t at home, and there was some noise around him, but his voice came through clearly. “Little girl, what are you planning now?”
Shen Xifan smiled helplessly. “I was wondering, Dr. He, could you kindly pity me? You see, I forgot my wallet, and I can’t go home for now…
He Suye really came over. He happened to be staying at the school, which was very close to her location. She saw him get off the bus, wearing a single-strap bag, his trench coat’s buttons undone, his forehead hair tousled by the wind. Then he stood before her and softly said, “Let’s go.”
Just those two words made Shen Xifan feel like crying.
She had always pretended to be strong, even though she hated Yan Heng so much. In front of him, she still carefully concealed her feelings, unwilling to show any sign of weakness, even when she felt wronged, she wouldn’t cry in front of others.
But these two tender words made her emotions pile up, and she struggled to find an outlet to release them.
A big bowl of Lanzhou pulled noodles, with plenty of broth and fragrant beef, the noisy crowd coming and going, the owner occasionally chatting with customers, mostly joking around. The steam filled the air, making Shen Xifan’s eyes redden.
She ate quickly, not daring to stop, afraid that if she did, her tears would spill uncontrollably. The man across from her, even in the simplest street-side eatery, was still so gentle.
He smiled as he ordered a large bowl of noodles for himself, silently watching her finish picking out the beef from her bowl. Without a word, he quietly transferred some of his beef to her bowl. He always picked up his chopsticks after her, yet always finished his meal first, and would ask if she wanted anything else.
Shen Xifan felt like crying. She wanted to find an excuse to cry—cry away all the grievances, all the hatred.
There were too many things she couldn’t understand or see clearly. She wanted her vision to blur a little, just to see the nearest things clearly—her own feelings.
When they passed by a supermarket in the community, she borrowed some money and then came out with a pack of mint candies. He Suye looked at her in surprise. “That’s really spicy. This brand!”
Shen Xifan shot him an irritated glance, tearing open the packaging. “What are you staring at? Do you want some?”
He Suye shook his head. “Too strong. I can’t handle it.” He then turned his face and started heading home.
She threw a handful of mint candies into her mouth. A strong mint flavor surged to her brain, and she was genuinely caught off guard by the spiciness and the sharpness. The menthol stimulated her tear glands, and she lowered her head, watching her tears fall to the ground, but they held no sadness.
Such grievances, pain, and hatred could not compare to even a little bit of warmth. As long as there was a touch of warmth, she was content.
It seemed like He Suye noticed something and stopped walking. He turned to look at her and found her crouched down behind him, her head buried in her clothes. He quickly knelt in front of her, anxious. “Little girl, what happened?”
“I was stung by the spiciness…” Shen Xifan didn’t want to look up. She rubbed her head against her clothes, trying to wipe away the traces of her tears.
He Suye sighed. “I told you not to eat so many. It’s very stimulating, just like that patch of patchouli. Even though mint disperses wind, clears heat, and detoxifies… it treats symptoms like headaches, sore throats, indigestion, and mouth sores…”
Shen Xifan finally looked up, her eyes red. “He Suye, you’re so noisy… Why can’t you ever stop talking about your professional habits?”
He crouched in front of her, took the pack of mint candies, and looked around for a trash can while teasing her, “If I didn’t talk so much, would you have looked up to see me?”
“He Suye, the mint is so spicy, it’s killing me. I want to spit it out…”
“Hold on!”
After sitting on a bench in the community garden, Shen Xifan finally managed to catch her breath. She met He Suye’s smile. “Mint can leave a fragrant taste, but not everyone has the courage to try it.”
Shen Xifan smiled. “He Suye, you don’t have the courage to try it?”
“Me? No, I just simply don’t like it.”
“Then do you think love tastes like mint?”
“Little girl, love can have all sorts of flavors—sweet, sour, bitter, spicy. It can’t be generalized, but every relationship leaves a mark. It might be bitterness, or a fragrance…”
“What if there’s a kind of love called lost and found again…”
“Silly girl, love can’t be lost and found again. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. If it comes back, it’s not the same flavor. When you lost a mint candy, at first it’s spicy and intense, then the fragrance stays at the corners of your mouth, and finally, the sweetness lingers, leaving you with endless aftertaste. Every relationship has its own taste. A half-lived love is like half-eaten mint candy—if it’s lost and found again, it can never taste the same as it did in the beginning.”
“He Suye, I don’t know either…”
“Then think about it slowly. Time will help you understand many things…”
The wind was strong, blowing the snow off the trees, brushing against her face, turning into tiny droplets of water that evaporated and disappeared. Maybe this year there would be a second snowfall, a third one.
Time would pass, and those confusing feelings, the people who had made her feel lost, would make her think carefully. Wait for the second snowfall, then melt, then wait for the third snowfall, and then wait for spring.
She thought, everything would have an answer—about herself, about Yan Heng, about the pain of first love, about love.
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