Chapter 9.2 - 郁金香 Tulip
The winter sunlight always seemed hazy, as if it were a faint wash across the sky, never quite reaching into the hospital wards. He Suye looked up at the sky, feeling a sudden, hollow ache in his heart.
He thought, *I should go see Mom.*
His alma mater was very close to the hospital, just across the street. That year, the school had been locked down, and many students had tried to climb over the back wall to escape, only to be caught, quarantined, and eventually punished. He had also wanted to do the same, not just because he hadn’t been home in a long time, but because the two people he loved most in his life were in this hospital.
But it wasn’t fear of the disaster that stopped him. He just wanted to know if they were okay in the hospital.
In the end, he never made it.
The mottled red walls, once covered in lush ivy during the summer, were now bare. The familiar scent of traditional Chinese medicine wafted from the school’s pharmacy, and the sports field was overgrown with withered grass. The old campus hadn’t been cleaned in a long time. Nowadays, it was mostly graduate and doctoral students who came and went, with few people around. Only the five-story office building saw frequent visits from medical giants, experts, and professors, most of whom wore gentle, smiling expressions.
He knocked on the door and entered respectfully. "Professor Yang, I’ve brought Li Jie’s thesis for you."
The old man chuckled. "He Suye? That Li Jie must be too scared to bring it himself, afraid I’d scold him. Come, sit down first." He took the thesis and flipped through a few pages. "Li Jie has improved a lot. Wait, Xiao He, did you help him edit this?"
He Suye nodded reluctantly. The old man took off his glasses and looked at him carefully. "Are you really not planning to pursue a doctorate in clinical medicine? You’re set on switching to traditional Chinese medicine and becoming Gu Ping’s doctoral student?"
He took a deep breath. "I’ve made up my mind. I’ve already spoken with Professor Gu. I’ll probably start after the New Year."
The old man sighed regretfully. "What a pity. Such a promising talent in clinical medicine, snatched away by traditional Chinese medicine. Your grandfather must be thrilled, but your father is probably furious."
He Suye smiled. "I’ve always wanted to study traditional Chinese medicine. It has nothing to do with my family."
The old man nodded. "Well, it’s good. Few young people are interested in traditional Chinese medicine these days. If this continues, our country’s traditional medicine will disappear. We all know you’re very capable. Study hard!"
After chatting for a while, He Suye got up to leave. Professor Yang called out to him, "By the way, Xiao He, could you do me a favor?"
He Suye nodded. "Of course, Professor Yang. I’ll do my best."
The old man smiled. "Don’t look so serious. It’s just that a professor from an American university is coming to give a lecture, and he’s very interested in traditional Chinese medicine. I’ve already spoken to Gu Ping about borrowing you for this. Do you have time?"
He Suye smiled. "No problem. But you’ll have to treat me to a meal!"
After getting off work at noon, He Suye went to a flower shop. After visiting several, he finally found tulips. He took the bus to the suburbs.
The cemetery was a place few people visited, yet almost everyone would come here at least once in their lifetime. It was, after all, the final resting place for most. People always hoped to come here as few times as possible, because seeing loved ones depart was a sorrowful and helpless thing.
He stood for a long time, gazing at the tombstone. His mother was smiling at him. In his memories, she was always smiling.
"Su Ye, Mom and Dad are going to work. Be good and don’t run around. There’s bread and milk on the table if you’re hungry."
"Su Ye, it’s okay if you didn’t do well on the exam. Just do your best. Don’t cry, be good!"
"Su Ye, Mom knows she’s let you down. Mom’s been too busy with work and hasn’t had time to spend with you. I couldn’t even make it to your parent-teacher meetings. But Su Ye, you’ve grown up so well and become so outstanding. Mom is very proud of you."
His heart ached, and his eyes reddened. The doctor had told him that when his mother passed, she was still smiling, saying that the one thing she regretted most in life was letting her son down. "Su Ye, don’t blame your dad. It was my choice to go. Don’t blame him."
But he did blame his father. There was a knot in his heart, one that had only grown tighter with time, and now he couldn’t untie it.
He placed the tulips down and reached out to touch the tombstone. It was spotless.
His thoughts stretched on, once they started, they were hard to stop.
"Mom, does Dad still visit you twice a week? You know, I haven’t seen him in a long time. I don’t know how he’s doing. Do you know?"
"Mom, I’ve decided to study traditional Chinese medicine, even though Dad always wanted me to go into cardiovascular medicine. You know, my first choice for college was traditional Chinese medicine, but Dad changed it to integrated Chinese and Western medicine without telling me. That’s why I’ve always resented him."
"Mom, I really love traditional Chinese medicine. Maybe it’s because of Grandpa. When I was little, I loved watching him handle herbs and treat patients. One day, he sat in his rocking chair and told me, 'Su Ye, your name is also the name of an herb.' Traditional Chinese medicine isn’t just about herbs; it’s a field of study. Each herb has its own name, its own taste—bitter, sweet, sour, spicy, pungent—and when combined, they create remedies, each with its own purpose. But the intricate principles behind healing and treating people are like life itself. Few can truly understand them."
