Chapter 15 - Heartbreak
Yin Zhe stood at the door of his stepfather's company, wandering, hesitating. Struggling on the edge of advancing or retreating. She (Jiang Jun) clenched his hand and begged him: don't go in, please, don't go in. He shook her hand away and walked in. He was going to beg someone he had despised for many years, for someone who he calls a normal friend (Qiao Na).
He asked her how can she be so cruel.
Was she wrong?
She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. The tears were in her heart and couldn't flow out. He walked out dejectedly after some time and she asked if it was worth it.
He replied to her that he could not see his friend suffer.
She asked him: then what about me? You can make me suffer?
His reply was: what does it have to do with you? She felt ridiculous. How ridiculous she was.
The person he wanted was never her. She never had a place in that relationship she had treasured.
It was fate's absurdity, a farce of her own.
She hated him, hated Qiao Na, hated Yuan Shuai. She called Yuan Shuai, and the secretary said that he had gone abroad.
Gone abroad, but his phone with the secretary in Beijing?
Early in the morning, she sat in the cafe below Yuan Shuai’s company, filled out the form carefully, and signed her name on the list of informants. Picking up the phone and wanted to call Yuan Shuai again, she saw Qiao Na walking into the building with her purse. Qiao Na was vain, isn't she? She (Jiang Jun) ook out the completed form and solemnly added a “Zhong” (her last name which represented her family status) before the words Jiang Jun.
Through the dark brown glass, she watched Yuan Shuai holding onto Qiao Na into the café. Qiao Na was crying.
She told her driver at home to go to the China Banking Regulatory Commission.
When she received a call from the director of the Supervision Office of the China Banking Regulatory Commission, she was sitting opposite Qiao Na.
Jiang Jun put down the phone and asked Qiao Na helplessly, “why are you having trouble with me? Do you still love Yin Zhe?”
“Yin Zhe? He is a good person, but too young. I am not interested in raising a son. I just pursue what I want. You are too young to understand it. You will know how I feel when you grow up.” She replied.
“Are you not afraid of me reporting?”
“Afraid? To be honest, your trick was really ruthless, but it doesn't matter now, Yuan Shuai will help me settle it. What can you do? You are just Yuan Shuai’s cousin. Even if you are beautiful, you are still just a chick. Do you think he will leave me for you? Jiang Jun, stop arguing with me, how old are you? How many people have you seen? What can you do? If you treat me as your sister-in-law, why would I cause trouble for you?”
“Do you really want to be my sister-in-law? But Yuan Shuai's parents won't agree with you and Yuan Shuai’s marriage!”
“You can help me! Don't they like you very much? You can say good things about me in front of them.”
“Why?” Jiang Jun asked.
”I won’t ask Yin Zhe out again, you are a great fit for him. I actually want to bring him closer to you together.”
Qiao Na’s father inevitably faced imprisonment and Qiao Na was taken away by the Supervision Office to assist in the investigation. Yuan Shuai came to her (Jiang Jun). His eyes were bloodshot and filled with anger. He gritted his teeth and took out the photos of Yin Zhe meeting Qiao Na. She told him everything about Qiao Na and Yin Zhe. Jiang Jun hurt Yuan Shuai with truth and when she looked at his sunken cheeks and bleak eyes, all she could say was I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.
Tears fell suddenly, caught her off guard.
Yin Zhe came to the dormitory to look for her at the time when she least wanted to see him.
Yuan Shuai sat on her bed, and they nestled together like two injured little animals.
Yin Zhe turned and left, and slammed closed the door.
She smiled sadly, someone punished me for you!
She sent Yuan Shuai off, and saw Yin Zhe squatting at the side gate of the building.
Yuan Shuai touched her hair and turned to leave. She seemed to hear Yin Zhe say that he was sorry and she returned to her dormitory. Yin Zhe followed her dejectedly.
The showdown was over, she was too tired. It was to a point of no return.
“Do you love me?” Yin Zhe asked her
“Yes.” She replied.
“Then how about Yuan Shuai?” He asked.
”He is my brother. My family.”
Yin Zhe’s eyes lit up like a child and said “Let’s reconcile. I’m so sad when you ignore me.”
“Do you love me, Yin Zhe?” She asked.
”Of course, I love you.” He replied
“What do you love about me?” She questioned
“You are very clever and independent. You and I think alike. I am always so transparent in front of you. You can guess what I want to say and do. Although sometimes your actions can be hard for me to accept, although you are right most of the time. Sometimes I am annoyed at you, but I just love you and I'm happy with you.” He answered.
“What about Qiao Na?” She asked.
“She is just a friend. She can't manage things by herself and needs my help. Can I not help? She is incomparable to you. She is too fragile. She is as simple and naive, like a flower, and she treats everyone well. But at the same time, she can easily be cheated and hurt by others.”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
“I will stop seeing Qiao Na from now on. Don't ignore me.” He shook her arm and took out her favorite CD from his pocket. She smiled weakly. Yin Zhe is the one who is truly naive. How can she let go of such a boy?
She has long fallen for him and she could no longer tell if she likes the person or she was just used to the feeling of liking him.
But that was love.
She is in an endless cycle, she can’t let go and don’t want to let go of him.
